| Woman Quotes |
I am always frank and earnest with women. In Chicago I'm Frank, and in New York I'm Ernest.
-- Samuel L. Jackson - The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)
Certain women should be struck regularly, like gongs.
-- Noel Coward – Private Lives, Act III (1930)
Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.
-- Jean Kerr
My understanding of women goes only as far as the pleasures.
-- Michael Caine (Alfie, 1966)
If they ever invent a vibrator that can open pickle jars, we’ve had it.
-- Jeff Green
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
-- Henry Youngman
I wonder why it is, that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anyone can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
-- David Niven (The Moon is Blue, 1953)
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
-- Charlotte Whitton (quoted in Canada Monthly, Jun 1963)
When women go wrong, men go right after them.
-- Mae West - She Done Him Wrong (1933)
I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
-- Steve Martin - LA Story (1991)
The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.
-- Helen Rowland
When a girl’s under 21 she's protected by the law. When she is over 65, she's protected by nature and anywhere in between, she's fair game.
-- Cary Grant - Operation Petticoat (1959)
Women are like oranges. When you've squeezed one, you've squeezed them all.
-- Bob Hope - Casanova's Big Night (1954)
Secretary: “How do you write women so well?”
Jack Nicholson: “I think of a man, and then I take away reason and accountability.”
-- As Good As It Gets (2001)
Why is it that young men are always cautioned against bad girls. Anybody can handle a bad girl. It's the good girls men should be warned against.
-- David Niven - The Moon Is Blue (1953)
My mom always complains about my lack of a boyfriend. Well, next time she asks, I'm going to tell her I'm dating two different guys -- Mr. Duracell and Mr. Energizer.
-- Michelle Landry (quoted on TopFive.com)
[talking to his Wife]
Darling, give me my pipe, my slippers and a beautiful woman, and you can have my pipe and slippers.
-- William Powell - Song Of The Thin Man (1947)
[magician finishes his act]
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the hardest trick of all - getting rid of a woman.
-- David Niven - Eternally Yours (1939)
Women are like elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
-- W. C. Fields - Mississippi (1935)
Why are Hurricanes named after Women?
Because when they arrive they’re wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car.
-- Luiz Guzman – Traffic (2000)
To be with another woman, that is French. To be caught, that is American.
-- Anton Rodgers - Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)
I had a woman living with me for fourteen days. Then she chewed through the ropes and got away.
-- Monty Hoffman – Comedy’s Dirty Dozen (1989)
I'm very fond of children....Girl children, around eighteen, twenty.
-- W. C. Fields - The Bank Dick (1940)
I was the first woman to burn my bra - it took the fire department four days to put it out.
-- Dolly Parton
There are only three ages for women in Hollywood -- Babe, District Attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.
-- Goldie Hawn (First Wives Club, 1996, Olivia Goldsmith, Robert Harling)
That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.
-- Matthew McConaughey – Dazed and Confused (1993)
What’s the difference between a wife and a job?
After 10 years, the job still sucks.
-- Mel Gibson – What Women Want (2000)
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb ... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
-- Dolly Parton
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