| Gambling Quotes |
Bookie -- A pickpocket who lets you use your own hands.
Henry Morgan
Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on you face.
-- VP Pappy
The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
-- Kin Hubbard
There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.
-- Georges Pompidou
Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will, but remember it didn't work for the rabbit.
-- R Shay
Remember this: The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself.
- Nick the Greek
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
-- Henny Youngman
You remember 1929--when billions went down the drain; people lost their life savings and jumped out of windows? We have the same thing now days only it's called a weekend in Las Vegas.
-- Robert Orben
Slottery, n. - a noun meaning "robbery by a coin-vending machine."
-- Russell Baker
Gambling is the future on the internet. You can only look at so many dirty pictures.
-- Simon Noble
I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind.
-- Steve Allen
The smarter you play, the luckier you'll be.
-- Mark Pilarski
When I played pool I was like a good psychiatrist. I cured 'em of all their daydreams and delusions.
-- Minnesota Fats
If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if I win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun.
-- Chico Marx
A gambler never makes the same mistake twice. It's usually three or more times.
-- VP Pappy
A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned.
-- Paul Newman
Your best chance to get a Royal Flush in a casino is in the bathroom.
-- VP Pappy
I believe in luck. How else can you explain the success of those you dislike?
-- Jean Cocteau
Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get.
-- Ray Kroc
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something.
-- Wilson Mizner
[after being from baseball for gambling]
I've got a 15-year old son and a 10-year old daughter, and if they were going to do one of the following things: be an alcoholic; be a drug offender; beat their wife or husband; or gamble. I hope they would gamble.
-- Pete Rose
For addicts, net gambling is the great rock-candy mountain. It's like an alcoholic being given a bathroom in which the taps run with iced vodka.
-- Guardian Columnist
The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.
-- Wilson Mizner
The world is a gambling-table so arranged that all who enter the casino must play and all must lose more or less heavily in the long run, though they win occasionally by the way.
-- Samuel Butler
When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table.
-- Dean Martin
I went over to the roulette wheel. And got two hundred dollars' worth of quarter chips. Covered the table--I mean, covered the table! Red and black, even up. I'm going to win something before I go to sleep. And the guy spun the ball and it fell on the floor!
-- Bill Cosby
Las Vegas: 1. A place where people get chip-wrecked. 2. A place where wheels steer people.
-- Jacob Braude
No wife can endure a gambling husband, unless he is a steady winner.
-- Thomas Robert Dewar
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