| Dog Quotes |
Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies.
-- Gene Hill
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-- Robert Benchley
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him and a cat that will ignore him.
-- Derek Bruce
If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-- James Thurber
If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
-- Will Rogers
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul -- chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-- Anne Tyler
Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives.
-- Sue Murphy
Man is a dog's idea of what God should be.
-- Holbrook Jackson
You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
-- Dave Barry
I have a great dog. She's half Lab, half pit bull. A good combination. Sure, she might bite off my leg, but she'll bring it back to me.
-- Jimi Celeste
A man's soul can be judged by the way he treats his dog.
-- Charles Doran
The trees in Siberia are miles apart-that's why the dogs are so fast.
-- Bob Hope
Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend, and inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
-- Groucho Marx
Thorns may hurt you, men desert you, sunlight turn to fog; but you're never friendless ever, if you have a dog.
-- Douglas Mallock
No matter how little money and how few possessions you own, having a dog makes you rich.
-- Louis Sabin
I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's another thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vacuum cleaners.
-- Jeff Stilson
I can't think of anything that brings me closer to tears than when my old dog -- completely exhausted after a hard day in the field -- limps away from her nice spot in front of the fire and comes over to where I'm sitting and puts her head in my lap, a paw over my knee, and closes her eyes and goes back to sleep. I don't know what I've done to deserve that kind of friend.
-- Gene Hill
A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here's how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
-- Jay Leno
Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac who stays up all night wondering if there really is a Dog?
-- Steven Wright
I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.
-- August Strindberg
A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by its own farts.
-- Frank Skinner
There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-- Ben Williams
Heaven goes by favour. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
-- Mark Twain
I bought a dog the other day...I named him Stay. It's fun to call him...'Come here, Stay! Come here, Stay!' He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd.
-- Steven Wright
The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.
-- Samuel Butler
Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe, we are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made.
-- Roger Caras
They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?
-- Larry Reeb
A well-trained dog will make no attempt to share your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it.
-- Helen Thomson
A collie has the brain of a man, and the ways of a woman.
-- Scottish Proverb
I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.
-- Gilda Radner
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
-- Phil Pastoret
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