| Childhood Quotes |
I came from a tough neighborhood. In my neighborhood, parents always know where their children are. They see them on the news.
-- Rodney Dangerfield – Rapping Rodney Album
We were poor. If I wasn't a boy, I wouldn't have had nothing to play with.
-- Redd Foxx
I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.
-- Jackie Vernon
I never really had a childhood. I was around adults all the time. My favorite book when I was eight was Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex - But Were Afraid to Ask. I was not afraid to ask.
-- Drew Barrymore
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
-- Jack Handey
And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they rent out my room.
-- Woody Allen - Woody Allen and His Comedy (1975)
Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains...
-- Diane Ackerman
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
-- Emo Philips
Until I was 13, I thought my name was 'Shut Up.'
-- Joe Namath
Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need to do to lose weight is take a bath.
-- Richard Zera.
People always ask me 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, I was an accountant.
-- Ellen DeGeneres
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
-- Rodney Dangerfield
I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance – waiting for the bathroom.
-- Bob Hope
Childhood, n. The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth — two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.
-- Ambrose Bierce
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