Gib: Kids! Ten seconds of joy, thirty years of misery.
Harry: But what about their husbands?
Simon: Dickless! I mean let's face it, if they were taking care of business, I'd be outta business.
Gib: What kind of a sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?
Harry: Helen is having an affair.
Gib: Welcome to the club!
Simon: I have to lie to women to get laid. And I don't score much. I got a really small d*ck, it's pathetic.
Gib: So your life's in the crapper. So you wife is banging a used car salesman - it's humiliating, I know. But goddamnit, Harry, take it like a man!
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