| Woody Allen Quotes |
The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson.
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers.
And my parents finally realise that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they rent out my room.
There are worst things than death. If you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean.
Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said 'no'.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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