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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws.

I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: 'Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end.'

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. ... There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

42...The meaning of life, the universe, and everything.

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